I did make my bed before writing this. Sat down, had a cup of coffee and a bread with nutella in it. Then something caught up in mind just now..been thinking about today..it is not a rough day, i never had any rough days anymore now. I am so...damned missing that moments tho. As the singer quoted, "life has been insane, but today has been okay"..i am okay, i can assure you that ;) i wrote a poem once, talking about the singularity, yes..singularity entertained me better.
Pops out in my head, about the talks i had with a friend. We were talking about marriage. I would have myself stay single as long as God wanted me to be. Then somehow, i kinda thinking, what's the use of getting married? Got kids, take care of your husband, be the best housewife you can be, then what? most of them are bumped into the situation where they stop learning, most of the time it will be hard for them to gain more knowledge. Well, yes i am well aware that by getting married, we start to live our own life from ZERO. I am talking about the knowledge in general, not just how to changing diapers, make the nicest breakfast for your family, No. The more deep knowledge about life, which probably may gaining your skills, whatever that is..i kind of have the perspective in mind that living the marriage life can be so boring, but anyways...it is just my thoughts and how i feel about it, do not taking it too personal, okay..maybe i would write again if someday i happened to get married and promise i will share my experience :)
It seems fine for me to stay single. Oh, I guess you should be worried if you are surrounded by numbers of people, and then you don't feel happy or at least fine with it. Ah..this reflection i drawn remind me of a good friend of mine, who would always need to be alone. He said he want to just relax in a quite place. Well, there is nothing wrong with him. It's a different case i guess..cause he always feel annoyed by people around him, he called them the so-called friends. Anyways, i try to defense my argument in the above..yea yea..being single suits me fine statement...well, as that author said, why would you bother yourself getting married. Long time ago, young girls are expected to remain virgin in their early ages, no sex before marriage, somehow it became more valuable in the society of eastern countries.
But now..when those girls able to keep their virginity till the age of 40s, and started out of lucky in finding the perfect husband, or let's say being a "virgin mary". Then that society would easily mocking on them, probably would talk behind their back and questioning, why would you stay single!? or end up in a family gathering, and got yourself become the main topic for them to discuss. "That" society would ring your door bell asking the little things in your life..isn't that a bit annoying for you? mind of your own business, that what i would say to them. Personally, i would walk on this path, whatever this long walks taking me later. Oh! what is shocking me the most, is that i just found out from a friend, that my mom was complaining to her of me being single!!! How crazy is that!? I prefer to hear it from my mom's mouth than my friend. Somehow, my mom would sounds slightly desperate, asking my friend to introduce me to some friends of hers. Anyways, i will leave this desperate mom issue in here, i can't give her an answer but tell her to be patient, cause I'm a bit of enjoy being alone these days. Sorry Mom! ;)
Let's face it and be frankly, what is exactly do you want from women these days? get married soon, realizing they can't be happy. Oh, just like one of my friend. Who has been together with her boyfriend for three years, and all of a sudden she feel losing the chemistry, too boring, lost the sparks. He is right about her league indeed. But what can we say about it, when you knew you find a perfect mate to be with, you just want to be with them right away. You just knew..
Or another miserable marriage of my friend, who got beaten by her husband. Yes, and the funny thing is that her parents knowing about it, but they will hate them to separated, and mentioning such an amount of money that the family had spent for their wedding. So, "you gotta spent your whole life beaten up, cause we lost our money for your wedding" the parents said. God...! Life is really getting insanely brutal these days, don't you think? Me and some friends tried to do something for this friend of mine, but we couldn't help much i guess. Cause she need to get out of the house, and i don't think she is capable of doing that..So saddening, hope God always be with her.
Back to the stay single topic. I found it really OK, well..it is not just about the so-called freedom i have from it, but somehow i feel like i need to be this way for a while. Does 9 months is enough? no worries, i will keep you inform how long could i be staying like this. The most important thing is that i still could have fun by being alone, it is how you can keep up yourself stay away from the boredom. While i have to admit that sometimes, i cried myself up cause it got too boring. :)) But i am hanging there, got couple of friends keep it up with me, talk to me through line or sit in together. Life has already been insane, but today let's try hard to be, at least...Okay.
Indeed, i am OK. Good Night people!
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