i know we've all had a bumpy ride

I am realized, i was impaired..
there were moments where i felt unwell
it just me, uniquely gasping for the air to breath
there was something need to be fix out
somehow, deep down
i know how was my whining was boring to you
i know how was my complaints was worn you out
i realized the boredom,
i realized the tiresome,
and i realized that all of those things
would only brought me to another phase of my stage in life

In order to present the way myself
i know it just ain't that easy..
because even though, i felt that i had someone
someone you thought who would dare to compensate
someone who would patiently understood your situation
then, The Almighty..have lead me decided
a decision which was final
full of regression, tears, sacrifice, yet an avoidance and uncertainty

Again, i would stayed still
await and expect that there would be some corrections to make it better
but then, i realized..
that it might not worth to try to mend it

once a talented singer wrote
"Leave all our hopelessness's aside
If just for a little while
tears stop right here
I know we've all had a bumpy ride.
I'm secretly on your side"

I've had been on the bumpy ride, indeed
then i silently sigh..
i have had enough of the waiting
kinda awakening me, i distractedly..harshly run off
smash onto the wall
make myself hardly open my eyes
and uttered...."there i have said it, i release your pain and burden"

The next day, i just taking breath deeply..
make myself hard to gasp
inhales the air thoroughly
start to gaze at cloud again..
i will not trying to go to the woods
and seeking another berries..not that fast..
i still need to heal the wound
then...
enjoy the every single moment of the tears, and pain

well Thank you, because of you
i still able to give the chance to feel the pain
from feeling it, somehow..i can manage myself
manage carefully..just to be good
as you were always said to me
that you only want to be the goody
darling, you've already accomplished
hell i know how good you were
it just me..scratching my nails off to dirt
in order to be good..then..pop out to the new life
as someone who had learned the lesson well
which was i learned from you know who...

So...Thank You and Goodbye

*shut the curtain and turn off the light*
Hugs and Kisses
^GilangCempaka^
This note was written on behalf of my gratitude
Dedicated to someone who influenced me,
to be a person who will always learn,
make mistakes, apologize and mend it..(March 2009)