a letter for Vivi

Losing the best companion to converse makes me cripple.
but,
Losing the most loyal companion to travel with, indeed breaks my heart as if I lose my soul mate!

I know we can't have all the good things in this world.
There is no forever...surely not for money, houses, not even a car!
Have you ever lost something that can't be replace with anything in this world?
Yes..that's my Vivi...irreplaceable.
Cause she's one thing that can energize my wanderlust.
There's no use of having the passion to wander without her.

If you're wondering, who the hell is Vivi anyway?!
Well, Vivi is my beloved ride, happen to be the most loyal companion to wandering around.
I had Vivi since 2004, it's 2011 now! Damn it's 7 years already.
Why did I call her Vivi? The nickname was from Vios, the brand.
A friend once, in her big curiosity asked me "why would you consider your car as female? since you're a girl. Wouldn't it be nicer to 'ride' a guy instead of a girl?"
My answer back then was because I wanted to make her as my other besties.
Not just a thing, I considered Vivi as human too.
Girlfriend that I can talk to, and travel with.

Who would have thought that I must to let her go now.
When she had to lose her foot (the tire) I was there with her.
When she had to lose her voices (the audiotape), when we hit the bumpy road, I was there with her the whole time.
When she had to lose some of her body parts-that's when she got hit by a motorbike or I hit the stone-, I was there with her.
We always there for each other..

(Vivi lost her foot *tire.red)

At this moment, I have to let her go for a while, I can't guarantee when I will be able to see her again.
She keep all the best memory of all I ever had...in the sense of wandering around.
All the companion who sit on the passenger seats, she knew all of them!
All the fun, crazy things and goofing around I used to do with my besties.
All the loud music I played and dancing I did while I was driving.
All the other drivers and pedestrians that me and my friend's have insulted.
All the loud and annoying voices I sing while I'm driving, but Vivi still can bear it with me.
All the smelly foods I ate inside her whenever I feel too lazy to queued for a table.

(we always strike a pose whenever we got the chance, i seemed running out of pose here, while she still got all the energy)

(goofing around is always fun while driving!)

All the things I stuffed inside of Vivi; my shoes, pair of clothes, papers, necklaces, and tons of disorganized CDs and cassette collections, yet the candy trashes and ashes I littered.
All the hard bumping I caused and damaged her shock breaker, and wrecked her into pieces..Vivi would still driving fast and faithful to me.
All the fights I had with all the ex-es, the real physical fights or through phone calls, Vivi had to witnessed all of that.
My very first driving to campus, I tagged along two of my besties with us.
I went on the high steeping road, when I nervously afraid and burst out the tears behind the wheel.
Vivi was never gave up on me, she tried so hard to keep on driving, to reach the last line of every inch of the streets I drove by.
Ahh! such a lovely moments!

(my Dutch friend at the office, Denise took this picture in case she'd missing us :)

People can call me insane, cause I always treat Vivi as a person..I don't care.
I love to talked with her indeed when I ride alone.
I never think or treat her as a dead thing or vehicle.
As if talking to her was one of my ways to calm her down, or even yelled at her when the radio stopped producing the music i liked..yes, I blamed her that day.
Without music my life is empty, but without Vivi, I lost my inner soul of to wander.
even sometimes, when i take a wrong turn, got stranded, or took a longer time to arrived in one place..I did blame myself, cause I felt like I have to perform well in the way of driving!

Those kind of things might sounds exaggerating somehow, but it's true!
Yesterday, I cried so hard..it came from within..I cried with all my heart!
The feelings was more or less the same as when I had to lose someone I love the most!
Indeed, it is painful..
(tried to pose while I'm driving, last thing i noticed when the wheel was little bit off to sidewalks)

My friend , Nataya used to comment every time she opened up her armpit (the door).."ah! the smell of Vivi I missed.." or "hi VeyVey!!" from Adis, my other friend who would always greets Vivi with her typical annoying voice, every time she spotted her in the parking lot.
I'm gonna miss all of those lovely moments..big time!

There's nothing I can do now except praying my chants for you, Vivi..
I love you to the core.
Please do come back to me, soon. I love you, I really do!

*smooch smooch